Revenge Sex: The Big Pay Back

 

Sexual Revenge

Okay, you have caught him cheating. Maybe, he confessed. No matter how you found out, you found out. And, it cuts like a knife. You trusted this man with your heart, and how does he repay you? He goes out and does this! Now, what do you do?

Do you leave him? Do you stay with him? Either way, you are out for blood. You want to make him pay for all the nasty things he has done to you. So, what is the best way to hurt him? The first thing that crosses your mind is to wound his pride like he had done yours. You want to humiliate him. And, what better way than to have revenge sex?

Well, girlfriend, let me tell you. That is one of the worst things that you can do. Why? Why should you stay straight when he has gone off the deep end? Because as much as you will hurt him, you will end up hurting yourself.

I get it. You’re mad right now. But, what about later? What happens when the smoke blows over? You will discover that you have been no better than him. And, what if the two of you decide that you want to work things out? How do you think your little indiscretion will play into all of that? If the two of you have children, how will this make them feel? And, most of all, how will you feel?

Yes, you are hurting, and you want to lash out. But, it is not worth it. Believe me. I know. I was the queen of revenge at one time in my life. Thankfully, as I have gotten older, I have gotten wiser. I have learned that having an affair just to punish him always backfires on you. You end up feeling cheap and betrayed. Revenge sex does not kill the pain of his betrayal.

So, what do you do? You find strength in yourself. You turn to God. You turn to your friends. You examine the situation and try to figure out what went wrong. You pick yourself up and move on. You don’t use your body as a pawn in a game.

So, sista, keep your head up! Brighter days are ahead.

The Handwriting on the Wall: Ignoring the Signs of a Break-Up

 

The Handwriting on the Wall

A while back, a young lady called me. She was very upset. In fact, she was literally in tears. Her boyfriend had finally called it off, and she was absolutely devastated. I did all that I could to comfort her and reassure her that everything was going to work out all right. The thing was this. I already knew this day was coming.

The young lady had been giving me calls for the past few months. She had been confiding in me about the problems that she and the young man had been having. And, for me, it was as plain as the nose on my face that things were not going to work out. She was a nice girl. She was pretty. She was working hard to get her education, and she was trying to motivate him to do the same. But, he simply wasn’t as gung-ho as she was about anything. He wasn’t as serious. While she wanted to settle down, he wanted to continue to play around.

I tried to warn her gracefully, but she just didn’t seem to get it. She was always finding a way to justify his behavior. But, the handwriting was on the way. Of course, I am a pretty good bit older than she is, and as the saying goes, “I been there and done that”. So, the break-up was no shock to me.

Well, I said all of that just to say this, “Wake up, ladies. Wake up.” Stop fooling yourselves. When he is not treating you the way that you should be treated…when he has checked out emotionally…when your heart starts whispering that he is being unfaithful…listen to your heart. Listen to your guts. Don’t close your eyes. See the handwriting on the way. Be aware that he is cheating. Be aware that he is getting ready to leave you. I recently wrote an eBook called, Hey Sista, Practical Advice for Women. It is sold on Amazon. In it, I give the warning signs of an impending break-up. Learn the signs. Watch the signs. Follow the signs. Guard your heart!