Things Married, Chrisitans Shouldn't Say to Single People

As a single woman, I can’t tell you the number of times I have had someone tell me that I am single because there are some things I need to work on. I have been told that while I wait on the “right man”~the man God has specially designed for me~I should work on myself because “you attract what you are”. I have been asked, “What can you bring to the table? What can you offer a man?”

What?! This is so offensive to me that I can’t even express it in words. Why? Right, I have two degrees. Plus, I run my own photography business and write professionally. I am not rolling in money, but I do fairly well. It is a fact that most black women make more than black men. I would love to meet a man (black, white, or whatever color) who can meet me halfway. Next and most importantly, “I like me”. I would love to meet a man who likes to have “his own space” sometimes because I need mine. So, please go hunting, shoot some ball, or spend some time with the boys. I would love to find a man who likes to spend time reading or watching the game. I would love to find someone who enjoys some of the same things I do. I like me.

No, I don’t feel that there is a lot I need to work on. Yes, I can spend all of this wonderful time with God. However, God himself said that it was not good for man to be alone.

Question to all those married people: If I need to spend all of this time with God just because I am single, what about yourself? Does getting married signify that you have got it all together and you are excempt for prayer and fasting? When I look at the married couples I know, so many of them seem so miserable. I wonder if they are spending as much time with God as they are suggesting that I do because I am single.

Being single is not a curse. It is not a disease. For some people, it is a lifestyle choice. For some people, it is a temporary state. For me, it is the place where God has me for the moment. I don’t feel that he has me here because I am a wretched person or because I need to get my career established. Why am I single? I am single because this is God’s design for at this time and at this place. This doesn’t mean that I will be single forever. It simply means that God in his wisdom has me in a holding position, and when he is ready for me to land, he will guide me safely home.