As
a single woman, I can’t tell you the number of times I have had someone tell me
that I am single because there are some things I need to work on. I have been
told that while I wait on the “right man”~the man God has specially designed
for me~I should work on myself because “you attract what you are”. I have been
asked, “What can you bring to the table? What can you offer a man?”
What?!
This is so offensive to me that I can’t even express it in words. Why? Right, I
have two degrees. Plus, I run my own photography business and write
professionally. I am not rolling in money, but I do fairly well. It is a fact
that most black women make more than black men. I would love to meet a man
(black, white, or whatever color) who can meet me halfway. Next and most
importantly, “I like me”. I would love to meet a man who likes to have “his own
space” sometimes because I need mine. So, please go hunting, shoot some ball,
or spend some time with the boys. I would love to find a man who likes to spend
time reading or watching the game. I would love to find someone who enjoys some
of the same things I do. I like me.
No,
I don’t feel that there is a lot I need to work on. Yes, I can spend all of
this wonderful time with God. However, God himself said that it was not good
for man to be alone.
Question
to all those married people: If I need to spend all of this time with God just
because I am single, what about yourself? Does getting married signify that you
have got it all together and you are excempt for prayer and fasting? When I
look at the married couples I know, so many of them seem so miserable. I wonder
if they are spending as much time with God as they are suggesting that I do because
I am single.
Being
single is not a curse. It is not a disease. For some people, it is a lifestyle
choice. For some people, it is a temporary state. For me, it is the place where
God has me for the moment. I don’t feel that he has me here because I am a
wretched person or because I need to get my career established. Why am I single?
I am single because this is God’s design for at this time and at this place.
This doesn’t mean that I will be single forever. It simply means that God in
his wisdom has me in a holding position, and when he is ready for me to land,
he will guide me safely home.
