Challenge for the New Year

As we welcome in the new year, I would like to challenge black women everywhere to make some serious changes in their diets, relationships, and attitudes this year. As black women, we have a predisposition to diabetes. We have been labeled as bitter and rude. And, some of us are. So, this year, let's strive to be better.

How to Adjust Your Attitude and Save Your Relationship

How to Adjust Your Attitude and Save Your Relationship

You’ve heard the old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Thankfully, this is not true. It doesn’t matter if you are married, in a serious relationship, or just dating. It is almost impossible for a relationship to work if you are always negative. So, what do you do if you want your relationship to work, but you have an “attitude issue”.

Admit Your Problem

You have already made the first step. You have admitted that you have an attitude problem, and it is having a negative effect on your relationship. Now, you can begin to change it.

Identify the Cause

After you have taken the first step and admitted that you have an attitude problem, you will need to identify the cause of the problem. Take a few minutes and think about what has happened to you in the past to help to create your present attitude. Ask yourself why you are so bitter. Ask yourself why you respond to your partner the way that you do. There is always a cause. This means doing some real soul searching. But, if you really want to save your relationship, you must be willing to dig deep.

Commit to Change

Once you have identified the cause of your negative attitude, you must commit to change that attitude. You must make a conscious decision to change the way you react to situations.

Focus on the Good Things

Instead of focusing on all the things that are wrong with your relationship, focus on what is right about it. How? Start by making a list of all the good things about your partner and about your relationship. Put this list in a place where you can see it. Read the list out loud to yourself two or three times a day. As you do this, you will begin to notice a change in the way that you look at your relationship and your partner.

Be Positive

Stop being so negative. Stop bickering. Stop accusing. After years of negativity, this can be hard to do. However, it can be done. Make the decision to be positive. Surround yourself with positive people. Visualize yourself being happy. Visualize your relationship with your partner being happy and healthy.

Choose to Forgive

So often, our negative attitudes are the result of someone else’s choices. In order to make your relationship work, you have to choose to forgive. Forgive the person who hurt you. Let go of the past. Stop holding your present partner accountable for something your old partner did. Forgive your old partner and move on. If your present partner is the cause of your bitterness, talk to your partner. Get everything out in the open and then move on. Don’t spend valuable time dwelling on old issues. If you can’t forgive your partner, then it may be time to let the relationship go.

Get Moving

Start exercising. This will help to get oxygen flowing throughout your body. It will also help the body to release dopamine and endorphins, hormones that cause feelings of well-being.

Keep a Diary

Start keeping a diary. Keeping a diary is a great way to help you get a grip on your attitude. Whenever you feel yourself starting to become negative or angry with your partner, write it down.  By writing down your frustrations, you can self-reflect, identify the cause of negative thoughts, and change those thoughts and behaviors.

Don’t allow your negative attitude to destroy your relationship. Make a conscious decision to change your attitude and save your relationship.

Black Women and Nasty Attitudes

While shopping in Walmart yesterday, I encountered the famous "black woman" attitude. The store was crowded. I stopped to let another shopper- a black woman go by. She also stopped. I said, "You can go." She stood there. When I decided to go, the nasty-mouth, overweight, black woman decided to say, "That's so dumb. You so dumb anyway. You just standing there." What's up? Why can't we be nice. I see why other races think we are rude.WE ARE RUDE!!! I realize that this is a negative statement, but God knows, it is true. Why can't we put the drama behind us and move on. Why do we feel obligated to get smart with people? Why do we have to be so loud? Why can't we learn to control our attitudes? Then, we wonder why our black men are dating other women. http://voices.yahoo.com/black-women-relationships-attitude-ruining-11927541.html