Signs He is Thinking of Breaking Up with You

 

Warning Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

Has your relationship changed lately?  Does your boyfriend seem cold or distant?  You have alos noticed that the two of you are spending less and less time together, and you are beginning to wonder if maybe this is the end.  You would like to work things out, but you don’t know if he feels the same.  How do you know if your boyfriend is thinking about breaking up the relationship?  Look for the following signs.

*Avoidance

One of the first signs that your boyfriend is thinking about calling it quits is that he is spending less and less time with you.  In fact, he is avoiding you.  He won’t take your calls, and he goes out of his way to avoid the places that he knows you will be.  Your boyfriend is avoiding you because he no longer enjoys your company, and he just hasn’t gotten around to telling you yet that is over.

*Old issues keep surfacing

In order for a relationship to progress, you have to deal with issues that come up.  However, once an issue is dealt with, it should not continue to be a cause of tension in your relationship.  If your boyfriend is constantly bringing up old issues, he has not moved past the issue or he is looking for a convenient excuse to end your relationship.

*Resentment

Whether he says anything or not, you can tell there is still a lot of left-over resentment.  How can you tell?  For one, he is avoiding looking at you.  Next, he seems annoyed whenever you talk to him.  Although he may not have said anything, he is probably still holding in angry feelings. When resentment is unresolved, the relationship is in death throes.

*Affair

Your boyfriend suddenly starts putting in longer hours at work, and you may notice that he has become very secretive. He makes excuses to take calls in the other room.  You find strange numbers on his cell phone, and he won’t give you an explanation.  You question him about his new work habits or strange phone calls at odd hours, and he becomes angry and refuses to talk.  These are all the signs of an affair.  Although affairs can be worked through, they are a sign that something is wrong with the relationship, and he could have already picked out your replacement.

*Don’t talk anymore

The more a couple communicates the better their relationship is.  They are able to discuss any problems or other issues that may come up.  If you and your boyfriend have stopped talking look out. The end is near.  

*No intimacy

Your boyfriend no longer wants to be intimate. Intimacy is not always about sex.  It’s about spending time together and sharing. This emotional bonding is the glue that holds all relationships together. As human beings, people need to connect with one another.  If your boyfriend is not connecting with you, he is probably connecting emotionally with someone else.

*Decreased sex drive

Sex, like intimacy, is an important part of your relationship.  If he no longer wants to have sex with you, chances are good that he has found someone else to take care of that need for him.  Maybe you are still enjoying a decent sex life; however, you sense that something is not quite right.  He is physically with you, but emotionally distant. This can signal an affair and that your boyfriend is preparing to break-up with you. 

It is very rare that a break-up comes out of the blue.  Most of the time, the person doing the breaking-up has been thinking about it for a while, and if you are truly honest with yourself, there were warnings signs.  If your boyfriend is displaying any of the signs above, chances are he is planning on breaking-up with you. So, put on a brave face and have a heart to heart conversation with your boyfriend.

When Black Women Go White: The Response to Black Women Dating Interracially

The April edition of Ebony featured an article entitled “Scandalized by ‘Scandal’”. It discussed the backlash that the show was receiving from black men. It seems that some black men find it offensive that the show’s star, Olivia Pope, is dating a powerful white man-the president of the United States-Fitzgerald Grant. Pope has also been featured with Jack Ballard, another powerful white man. My question is: What seems to be the problem?

For years, our black men have dated and married white women. However, black women have not so readily embraced interracial dating. It is only in recent years that the black woman has begun to embrace her choices. For so long, we were loyal to our African-American brothers even though they felt no such ties to us. Only a few years ago, it seemed like almost every black man who played professional sports or who brought home a substantial income was sporting women who were not of color on his arms.

So, why did black stay faithful to black men so long? First, some black women were worried about what their friends and family will say. They worried about how their friends would react if they dated outside the black community. Second, as African-American women, we had been feed a bunch of bull about how white men were not as well-endowed as black men or that they were not as good in bed. Then, there was the cultural difference.

We have been taught that men of other races don’t find us attractive. We have been told that  we were too dark, that our butts were too large, and that our hair is not long enough or soft enough. And, let’s be honest. As black women, we obsess over our hair. As a result, we wondered how white men would react to their course tress as compared with white women.

Now that the walls are starting to come down, some black men are lashing out. But, why? There are so many single, black women out there that it only makes sense for black women to stop limiting themselves. The facts can’t be denied. There is a lack of available black men. Where are they? They are incarcerated, gay, or married to women who are not African-American.

I am not mad at Shonda Rhimes for creating a beautiful, powerful, intelligent black woman who happens to be involved with a Caucasian male. In fact, I applaud her for creating Olivia. I applaud her for letting the world know that a powerful, white man can actually love a black woman. So, to all those black men who are angry, I would just like to say-“Get over it.”

http://voices.yahoo.com/reason-more-black-women-dont-date-interracially-11929342.html
http://voices.yahoo.com/more-black-women-date-interracially-11643770.html

How Can You Tell He Wants to AskYou Out?

Signs He Wants to Ask You Out

You have met a guy that you think is attractive. You really like him, but you are wondering if he feels the same way. We have all been there. So, how do you know if he wants to ask you out or if he just wants to be friends? The following are things that I have noticed when a guy wants to ask you out. 

Showing Off

In nature, it is the male of the species that has to convince the female to mate with them. Male birds have colorful feathers. And, other male animals must have to fight in order to earn the right to mate. Human males may not have to actually fight in order to win a female, but they do tend to show off when they are trying to impress a woman. So, if the guy in question is constantly showing off or bragging, he is trying to impress you.

Small Gifts

Does this guy give you small, unexpected gifts? Does he leave you sweet messages or memos? If he does, this could be another sign that he is interested in you.

Helping Out

Another way a guy will let you know that he is interested in you is by helping out. He will offer to help with your bags, tote things to your car, or offer to help you finish important assignments. If he is always around when you need a hand, chances are good that he wants to be more than friends.

Discouraging other Males

Men are naturally territorial. Just like animals in nature mark their territory, so do human males. If you discover that his guy has been discouraging other guy from asking you out, it is because je wants to ask you out himself.

Unexpected Visits

Does this guy make excuses to see you? Does he stop by your desk or job just to say “Hello” or to deliver messages that could have waited? If he is going out of his way to see you, he is trying to let you know that he is interested in you.

Includes You in Important Decisions

Does this guy ask your opinion about important issues? Does he include you in the decision making process? If he does, this is his way of letting you know that your opinion is important to him.

Accidental Touching

Does this guy seem to always “accidentally” touching your arms, hands, shoulders, or hair? Touching is a sure sign of attraction. If he is constantly finding excuses to touch you, he is definitely attracted to you and he wants to ask you out.

Stop wondering if he is attracted to you or if you are just imagining things. The above are signs that he wants to ask you out.

How to Adjust Your Attitude and Save Your Relationship

How to Adjust Your Attitude and Save Your Relationship

You’ve heard the old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Thankfully, this is not true. It doesn’t matter if you are married, in a serious relationship, or just dating. It is almost impossible for a relationship to work if you are always negative. So, what do you do if you want your relationship to work, but you have an “attitude issue”.

Admit Your Problem

You have already made the first step. You have admitted that you have an attitude problem, and it is having a negative effect on your relationship. Now, you can begin to change it.

Identify the Cause

After you have taken the first step and admitted that you have an attitude problem, you will need to identify the cause of the problem. Take a few minutes and think about what has happened to you in the past to help to create your present attitude. Ask yourself why you are so bitter. Ask yourself why you respond to your partner the way that you do. There is always a cause. This means doing some real soul searching. But, if you really want to save your relationship, you must be willing to dig deep.

Commit to Change

Once you have identified the cause of your negative attitude, you must commit to change that attitude. You must make a conscious decision to change the way you react to situations.

Focus on the Good Things

Instead of focusing on all the things that are wrong with your relationship, focus on what is right about it. How? Start by making a list of all the good things about your partner and about your relationship. Put this list in a place where you can see it. Read the list out loud to yourself two or three times a day. As you do this, you will begin to notice a change in the way that you look at your relationship and your partner.

Be Positive

Stop being so negative. Stop bickering. Stop accusing. After years of negativity, this can be hard to do. However, it can be done. Make the decision to be positive. Surround yourself with positive people. Visualize yourself being happy. Visualize your relationship with your partner being happy and healthy.

Choose to Forgive

So often, our negative attitudes are the result of someone else’s choices. In order to make your relationship work, you have to choose to forgive. Forgive the person who hurt you. Let go of the past. Stop holding your present partner accountable for something your old partner did. Forgive your old partner and move on. If your present partner is the cause of your bitterness, talk to your partner. Get everything out in the open and then move on. Don’t spend valuable time dwelling on old issues. If you can’t forgive your partner, then it may be time to let the relationship go.

Get Moving

Start exercising. This will help to get oxygen flowing throughout your body. It will also help the body to release dopamine and endorphins, hormones that cause feelings of well-being.

Keep a Diary

Start keeping a diary. Keeping a diary is a great way to help you get a grip on your attitude. Whenever you feel yourself starting to become negative or angry with your partner, write it down.  By writing down your frustrations, you can self-reflect, identify the cause of negative thoughts, and change those thoughts and behaviors.

Don’t allow your negative attitude to destroy your relationship. Make a conscious decision to change your attitude and save your relationship.

Things We Do for Love

Today one of my friends admitted that she married her husband in a desperate attempt to get her ex-boyfriend to rescue her at the altar. Sad to say, this didn't happen. She got married just to spite her ex-boyfriend. Needless to say, she regrets it. I even know women who have faked being pregnant just to keep a man. Read:  http://www.helium.com/items/2345041-reasons-why-some-women-fake-pregnancies Would you do the same thing? What desperate measures have you taken to save a dying relationship?

What Black Men Want From Black Women

What Black Men Want from Black Women

 

By: Lawanda Shields

Men are unique creatures. They think and act differently than we do. And, black men definitely take some figuring out. After interviewing several different black men, I discover that there were a few things that they all wanted from us as black women. This article is a list of the things on their most wanted lists. So, if you are a black woman and you are wondering what in the world black men really want, then this is the article to read.

*Attention

Men, like women, want attention whether they admit it or not. They want a woman who will spend time with them and tell them how wonderful they are. They don’t want a woman who lies, but who will take time out of their busy schedule to make them feel special. They also like it when you take some extra time to look good for them. So, some nights put up the flannel and wear something nice and leave the lights on.

*Support

Black men face a lot of challenges. Society tends to throw a lot of obstacles in their way. They need a safe haven, and they want to find it in their women. Black men want a woman who will support them and their dreams. They want someone who will tell them that they can make it in spite of the odds. Black men especially need a woman who will encourage them and lift them up.

Respect

A lot of black men don’t feel that their sistas give them the respect that they need. Yes, respect. Black men want a woman who will respect them as men, and who will honor them as the “true head of the house”. They especially want a black woman who will not embarrass them in public or who will belittle them. This is not to say that they don’t want a woman who is afraid to express herself. However, there is a time and a place for all things.

*Cut the Attitude

Black women have to learn to control their attitudes. Sure, not all black women have attitude problems, but the ones that do have branded the rest of us. It is evident by the increasing number of interracial marriages that black men are no longer settling for women who are bitter or who snap their heads off. Having a negative attitude can destroy your chances of a lasting relationship with a strong, black man.

*Hold them accountable

Black men want a woman who will hold them accountable. Yes, they want attention, support, and respect, but they also want their woman to hold their feet to the fire. Black men want someone who will tell them when they are wrong, and they want a woman to make them live up to their responsibilities. However, this should be done in private and not in front of their friends or in public.

 

Men think and act differently than we do. And, if the man in question is a black man, things can get even more complicated. Despite their uniqueness, there are a few things that they all want from black women. They want our attention, support, and respect. They want us to hold them accountable, but without all the drama.