Martial Submission: A Single Girl's Take

 

 

So many women today are independent. And, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with being able to pay your own bills and handle your business. I am a single woman, and I am independent. I have to be. I have to do it all myself. Believe me, this gets rough at times. For married women, things are a little different. They don’t have to fight all of their battles alone. They do have the convenience of having a man around (at least he is supposed to be around). With the convenience of a male partner, comes the age old question of marital submission. Should an independent woman submit to her husband?

Before all of you single gals go to roaring in outrage, let’s truly look at the question. Should a wife have to submit to her husband? When I was younger, the answer would have been “no” so fast until it would have made your head spin. However, now I am a little older and a lot wiser. No, I don’t think that a wife should act like a pet and go fetch whenever her husband tells her to. But, I do think that a man is the head of the house, and we should allow them to be just that. Yes, I do believe that my husband-whenever he shows up-should be able to give me some sound advice and I follow it. The reason that I can say this is because I believe that I should have sense enough to marry someone who is intelligent, kind, and godly. So, if my husband loves me and he loves God, I don’t think he would ask me to do anything wrong. I don’t think he would abuse his place as the head of the house or me.

As black women, we are so used to be the leader in our homes. We are not used to letting our men lead us anywhere. We want to be the boss, and we laugh at our friends who allow their husband to help make decisions. Our money is our money. So, we will spend the way we want to. We are not obligated to ask our husbands anything.

You know, men only want a few things from us. They want to be respected. They want to be loved. They want to be honored. So, why can’t we do that? Why can’t we allow them to help us?

As a single lady, I don’t think there is anything wrong with martial submission as long as you are submitting to the right man. Think about it.

Our Children, Us, and Potty-Mouths

We Have Created a Generation of Potty-Mouth Children: Now, What?

I will be the first to admit that there are times when I say words that I really shouldn’t. You know those colorful, choice words that we won’t want our pastor to know that we say. Well, if we are honest, most of us have a potty-mouth. And, sadly, we have that potty-mouth around our children-those poor, trusting souls who look to us for guidance and for an example of how they should behave.

When I was growing up, I knew bad words, and I knew when to use them. I did not use them on church ground. I did not use them near my mother’s friends or any adult for that matter. I respected my elders. Sadly, today’s youth are not that way. They use bad words and are proud of it.

As an elementary school teacher, I was surprise to hear such foul language from such young children. One of my ten year old students said, “Okay. Everyone in here (the classroom) uses curse words.” Wow! Everyone. Every single one of my young students?! Not only do they use curse words, but they talk about sex most of the day. Of course, they try to talk about it in code to keep me from knowing that they are talking about it. But, to think that a ten-year is even thinking about sex is almost unbelievable. So, where did these potty-mouths come from?

Simple. They came from us. When I asked one student why they talked like they do, he promptly told me that he learned all of this from hanging around older kids. And, it is not just the older kids who are teaching these children to curse and talk about sex. It is us.

It is the adults who control what their children see and hear. It is our fault they we are raising a generation that does not respect its elders. It is our fault that our children are having sex at a young age.

So, what you say. What harm is there in a few curse words or a little sexual exploration? Besides, who wants to be a prude? Prudes are no fun. And, isn’t it cute when Little Sue says to cute grown-up curse words? Stop and think about it. Is this really what you want?

Now that you have thought about it. Help change the world. Try to control your tongue. And, I will continue to try to control mine. Each day, I will make an effort to avoid those exciting and far too descriptive words. Please join me. 

Dove Deep Moisture Nourishing Body Wash Review

As a known coupon addict and bargain shopper, I get to try a variety of products. And, I have tried a lot of body washes. I heard about how good Dove soap and body wash was from my aunt, but I didn’t try Dove until it went on sale and I had a high value coupon for it. Dove Deep Moisture Nourishing Body Wash claims to give a rich lather, to moisturize, and to provide a mild, deep cleaning. Are the claims true?

A small bottle of Dove Moisture Nourishing Body Wash tends to cost a little over $5.00 and a larger bottle can cost from $6.00 up. Although the $5.00 is not a lot of money, I hesitated to buy it because I didn’t want to purchase a product that would irritate my skin. Since Dove promised to be mild, I gave it a try.

I placed a small amount on my bath cloth and added water. It produced a good amount of lather. It also had a gentle, soothing smell. It was soft and creamy to the touch.  I was truly surprised. I loved the smell. In fact, it smells so great that it leaves my bathroom smelling fresh and clean after I finish showering.

So, would I keep using Dove Deep Moisture Nourishing Body Wash? Yes, I will. Even though I am a Nivea girl, I will add this body wash to my cabinet.

Realistic Ways to Destress

If you are like me, life can get to be pretty hectic. Things can become overwhelming with trying to juggle a demanding, full-time job, kids, writing, blogging, dating, and all the other things that life throws my way. So, what’s a busy woman to do to stay sane?

•  Find time for yourself. Carve out a few minutes per day just for yourself. Forget about all those piles of paperwork. Turn the phone off. Spend some time away from the kids and the man in your life. Do something that makes you happy. Paint your nails. Write in your journal. Go for a walk. Listen to some music.
• Stop worrying about everything. Worrying is not going to change anything. It is only going to give you a headache or anxiety attack. It can lead to heart disease and stroke. So, stop sweating the small stuff.
•   Stop nagging. Nagging does not work. It will not get you any further. It will only alienate the ones that you love. It will also lead to stress.
• Exercise. I know. I know. You are too busy to exercise. However, you can squeeze in 30 minutes a day by doing some simple stretches or jogging in place during those commercials. Yoga and meditation are also great-if you have the time.
• Go to bed. So, you have a big assignment due and you have to get it in. This is okay occasionally. However, this should not be the norm. Sleep is vital. It gives your body the downtime it needs to recharge.
• Drink more water. Stop reaching for those soda, energy drinks, or large cups of coffee. (Trust me, I am guilty too!) Grab some water instead. Your body needs it to function properly. Plus, it doesn’t have all of those empty calories.    

http://voices.yahoo.com/natural-ways-cope-stress-anxiety-11990690.html

http://marriage.about.com/od/chores/a/nagging.htm

http://voices.yahoo.com/simple-ways-de-stress-12077322.hmtl

When Black Women Go White: The Response to Black Women Dating Interracially

The April edition of Ebony featured an article entitled “Scandalized by ‘Scandal’”. It discussed the backlash that the show was receiving from black men. It seems that some black men find it offensive that the show’s star, Olivia Pope, is dating a powerful white man-the president of the United States-Fitzgerald Grant. Pope has also been featured with Jack Ballard, another powerful white man. My question is: What seems to be the problem?

For years, our black men have dated and married white women. However, black women have not so readily embraced interracial dating. It is only in recent years that the black woman has begun to embrace her choices. For so long, we were loyal to our African-American brothers even though they felt no such ties to us. Only a few years ago, it seemed like almost every black man who played professional sports or who brought home a substantial income was sporting women who were not of color on his arms.

So, why did black stay faithful to black men so long? First, some black women were worried about what their friends and family will say. They worried about how their friends would react if they dated outside the black community. Second, as African-American women, we had been feed a bunch of bull about how white men were not as well-endowed as black men or that they were not as good in bed. Then, there was the cultural difference.

We have been taught that men of other races don’t find us attractive. We have been told that  we were too dark, that our butts were too large, and that our hair is not long enough or soft enough. And, let’s be honest. As black women, we obsess over our hair. As a result, we wondered how white men would react to their course tress as compared with white women.

Now that the walls are starting to come down, some black men are lashing out. But, why? There are so many single, black women out there that it only makes sense for black women to stop limiting themselves. The facts can’t be denied. There is a lack of available black men. Where are they? They are incarcerated, gay, or married to women who are not African-American.

I am not mad at Shonda Rhimes for creating a beautiful, powerful, intelligent black woman who happens to be involved with a Caucasian male. In fact, I applaud her for creating Olivia. I applaud her for letting the world know that a powerful, white man can actually love a black woman. So, to all those black men who are angry, I would just like to say-“Get over it.”

http://voices.yahoo.com/reason-more-black-women-dont-date-interracially-11929342.html
http://voices.yahoo.com/more-black-women-date-interracially-11643770.html

Five of My Favorite Articles about Spring on Yahoo Voices

5 Great Spring Articles on Yahoo Voices

As spring moves in, my mind moves toward the great outdoors and toward ways to quickly and effectively liven up my home. The following are five of my favorite articles about spring on Yahoo Voices.

Number 1: Spring Decorating Ideas Bring New Life to Your Kitchen by Jennifer Drake.

I love this spring article. It discusses the many ways to bring your kitchen to life as the weather warms up. This article recommends letting the sunshine in and changing out the dark colors in the kitchen. The article suggests using more delicate, airy alternatives to the heavy, dark curtains and coverings. Two even simpler suggestions were to place spring flowers in the kitchen or to use a plain bowl of fruit as a centerpiece on top of spring themed linens.

Number 2:  5 Ways to Bring Spring into Your Kitchen by Sally Albright

My second favorite spring article is by Sally Albright. This is another article that discusses ways to bring springtime into your kitchen. Of course, flowers are a great way to give your kitchen a pop of spring. Some spring flowers that are suggested in the article are tulips, daffodils, and roses. These can be placed in vases and strategically placed in your kitchen.

Live flowers are great, but they are not the only way to bring spring into the kitchen. Dried flowers are another ways to add life to the kitchen. Albright suggests tying dried flowers together and hanging them upside down in kitchen windows.

Citrus fruits such as lemons, limes, and oranges can also be placed in clear vases and displayed on counters or the kitchen table. Not only are these pretty, but they are also edible.

Number 3: 5 Ways to Bring Spring into Your Living Room by Sally Albright

My next favorite Yahoo spring article is also by Sally Albright. It discusses easy ways to change the face of your living room to fit the warm weather. Instead of sticking with those dark colors, she recommends lightening up your couch or sofa with decorative slipcovers. 

Another way she suggests to bring spring into your living room is by using removable wall border in spring print. She also recommends decorating the living room walls with spring themed wreathes. I especially love these ideas because they give me the ability to change the look of my living room without having to repaint my walls.

Number 4: How to Incorporate Silver into Your Spring Wardrobe by Lawanda Shields

I am a fashionsista. I love to read about fashion and style. This is one of my own articles, but I love it because I got to write about something I love-fashion. In this article, I discussed ways that silver can be worn even in warm weather. So, don’t feel confined to pastels for spring. Metallics can also be successful worn in spring, and this article discusses how.

Number 5: 5 Must Have Spring Fashion Trends for 2014 by Melissa Matters

This article is a newbie, but one that I like. Pastels are synonymous with spring, but that doesn’t you can’t wear classic foundation colors. This article discusses ways to incorporate black and white into a spring wardrobe. It discusses how to successfully wear metallics during the spring. It also discusses another hot spring trend for this year. That trend is the wide leg trouser. I love wide leg trousers, and they can be worn in every season.

Spring is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the longer days and warmer weather. The articles listed above are some of my favorites, and they help me to transition from winter to spring.

How Southern Women Really Dress: Not All Southern Women Wear Plaid

Southern Style

Project Runway is one of my favorite shows. I love watching the different designers compete against one another, and most of all, I love to see the beautiful fashions that they design for the runway. One of the season 12 episodes, they hosted a competition where they had to design a look for the modern southern woman. Ken Laurence, one of the competitors who was from Alabama, tried to tell the other competitors and the world that Southern women don’t just wear plaid. He stated that this was a stereotype. They did not listen. He did not win the competition. Other designers who cast us Southern gals in plaid won. Ken Laurence eventually lost and life moved on. End of story. Not so!

Ken Laurence was right. We don’t live in plaid. We are not the country hicks that people think we are. Yes, we enjoy beautiful fashions. No, we don’t wear a lot of couture outfits. It is true. We are somewhat conservative as a whole. But, we do like to wear modern styles and flaunt our stuff. So, for those of you who really want to know what southern style is, here it goes.

 

We like to wear our white dresses and skirts in the summer. We love bold colors just like everyone else. And, we do appreciate designer clothes and accessories.

I confess. I love classy designers like Isaac Mizrahi and Joan Rivers. I am a sucker for Dooney and Bourke purses. I confess. I do shop Avon and consignment shops. I don’t wear the big straw hats during the summer, but I do love to throw on a big, hat for Sundays. I love leather. This includes leather jackets, leather pants, and skirts. And, trust me. I melt when I can find it on sale.

My mother is definitely a fashionsista. You can’t beat her dressing. It doesn’t matter whether she is dressing for church, going to a quick brunch, or heading off to work in a pair of scrubs.

Okay, so I have thrown on a plaid shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and some cowboy boots. But, this is not an everyday occurrence. So, for those of you who do fashion or who make reality shows about fashion, don’t think just because we live in the South that we only like plaid. We don’t. We love a wide variety of styles and colors. No, we may not dress like Olivia Pope from ABC’s Scandal or walk like Naomi Campbell. Take a look at Kim from Kim of Queens. She is from Georgia, and she dresses like a modern southern woman.