As
a single woman over the age of 35, I know too well the pressures of trying find
Mr. Right. The hunt for a soul mate can be emotionally trying and sexually
frustrating. It is hard to truly get to know that new person when your hormones
are raging. So, what is a single person to do? Some people have come up with
what they think is an ideal solution to the problem. It is called being “friends
with benefits”.
What
are “friends with benefits”? These are two friends who have made a conscious
decision to have “no strings attached” sex with each other. The agreement is to
supply each other’s sexual needs as well as continuing to be BFFs (best friends
forever). Sounds great, right? But, does this type of relationship actually
work? The answer is both “yes and no”.
Yes,
this does offer the two partners sexual release without the worries that having
sex with potential marriage partners does. And, yes, it is convenient. Think about,
the two friends already know each other. They knew what they both like and don’t
like. They can be completely open and honest with each other. The two people
don’t have to work about all of the things that actual couples have to worry
about like trying to impress each other or trying to be nice. And, since they
are friends and not potential soul mates, they can continue to date other
people and search for their true soul mate.
However,
this type of a relationship can come with some serious negatives. It stands the
risk of turning into something else. Too often one of the friends/lovers begins
to develop romantic feelings for the other one. The friend who has become
emotionally attached can find it difficult to cope with the other partner
continuing to date other people and may even demand some type of commitment. Unless
the other friend also shares these feelings, this effectively ends the
agreement and ruins a once great friendship. There is also the “weirdness” of
having sex with a close friend. Although the two friends may have laughingly
shared details from their other sexual conquests, they may not have shared all
of their sexual preferences. And, sadly, some friends find being around each
other difficult after they cross the line.
Is
being “friends with benefits” a good idea? Well, that depends on the friends.
If they are both emotionally mature enough to handle the arrangement, it can be
a great arrangement. However, there is always the risk of things going wrong.
So, if you are considering this type of a relationship, ask yourself which is
more important-satisfying your sexual needs or having a great friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment