Are We Settling for Less

Whether many of you know it or not, I spend a lot of time on Yahoo Answer. I answer questions mainly in the relationship section. The topic that seems to keep popping up is: "I have slept with my best friend, now what?" or "My friend and I agreed to have a FWB (friends with benefits) relationship and now I find that I have feelings for him". Okay, ladies. I wrote the first article about "Being Friends with Benefits", and it was my opinion that this type of a relationship can work if both parties realize that nothing permanent is going to come out of it. Sadly, too many women are entering these relationships because the are lonely or because they believe their "friend" will change his mind.
 Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. The guy has told you from the start that all he wanted was sex. Period. End of the story. So, if you decide to jeopardize your friendship just because your hormones are raging, then you have put yourself in this position. I feel that we as women are starting to sell ourselves short. The guys are getting what they want out of this arrangement (free/no strings attached sex and a good friend to talk to). However, we are coming up short.
Don't get me wrong. I am not downing anyone who has agreed to this. To be honest, I have done this myself. Did it work for me? In one instant, it worked great because I didn't like the guy and I knew he was not the type of man I would ever be interested in as far as having a permanent relationship goes. The other times were a disaster. Why? Because, first, you already have feelings for this person. Remember, he is already your friend and knows all of your "dirty little secrets". Next, add sex to the mix and ( want to or not) you start to develop feelings for the person you are having sex with. No wonder you are angry when he wants to talk to you about his last conquest or about some hot girl he is dating. Problem!!!
So, as I continue to read and answer countless women who want to know what happened to their BFF after they gave them the goodies, I am forced to ask myself ( and you) are we selling ourselves too short. The answer, of course, is yes. We are. We must learn to control our hormones and stop agreeing to be just a bed buddy for our guy friends.
If we don't, we will never find our true mate. We will always be just another willing victim to lust.