So,
you and your BFF (Best Friend Forever) decide to cross the line and become “Friends
with Benefits”. Although things were great at first, the arrangement didn’t
work out. One or both of you begin to have romantic feelings for the other one.
And, as a result, things ended badly. So, now what do you do? How you recover
from losing your lover and your best friend?
Give It Time
First,
start by giving it some time. You have just suffered a major loss. You were
betrayed by someone that you love. So, it is normal to grieve that loss. Think
about it. This was someone that you trusted with your most intimate feelings
and secrets. The two of you shared your dreams and your fears. The two of you
also decided to share your bodies. Now, you have been left with a giant hole in
your heart. Only time can heal these wounds.
Find an Outlet
Next,
find a way to release those hurt feelings. You can take up journaling or
writing in a dairy. Writing about your feelings will help you to heal over
time. You can also start exercising. This will help to increase dopamine and serotonin
(feel good hormones) in your blood. You can also explore new hobbies. These
things will help to keep your mind off of your lost friendship. And, please,
please, don’t jump into bed with another friend or lover just to stop the pain.
This never works and can cause more trouble than it is worth.
Admit Your Mistakes
The
next step to recovering your lost friendship is to admit your mistakes. Whether
the rift was caused by you or your friend, you should evaluate what happened. Ask
yourself what went wrong with your arrangement. If you can’t seem to figure out
what happened, you may want to consult another friend for answers.
Rebuild Trust
Trust
is built over time. So, it will take time to rebuild the trust that the two of
you lost when your “Friends with Benefits” relationship failed. You can start
by talking to each other about what happened, listening to the other person’s
perspective of things, and offering any needed apologies. You may not be ready
to resume your close friendship right now. So, be honest with your friend about
this. Start small. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Put the Past Behind
You
and your friends must agree to put the past behind you. At this point, you
should have discussed all of the important issues. Let go of the past. Forgive
each other and agree to move past your failed sexual relationship and back into
your platonic friendship.
It
is always risky trying to be “Friends with Benefits”. There are so many things
that can go wrong, and too often those things do go wrong. Thankfully, you don’t
have to lose your best friend forever. The suggestions listed above will help
you move past the pain.
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