How to Stop Being Friends and Become Lovers

 

Help! I’m in Love with My Best Friend

Houston, we have a problem...The unbelievable has happened. You find yourself falling in love with your best friend. Yuck! Now, what? What can you do get your BFF (best friend forever) to stop seeing you as just a friend and start seeing you as a potential mate? It is not as hard as it may sound.

Law of Attraction

You already have things working in your favor. The two of you already have some things in common. This is why you are friends in the first place. Next, you and your best friend know a lot about each other. You are familiar with her likes and dislikes. You know what makes her happy and what irritates her. You know which guys turn your friend on. Use this to your advantage. Don’t change who you are but begin to exhibit more of the traits that your friend is attracted to.

Stop Being so Available

Okay, this may sound cruel, but it works. Stop being available to your friend all the time. If you want her to see you as more than one of the “girls”, you have to stop acting like one. Stop letting her cry on your shoulders all the time. Don’t totally cut her off, but stop listening to all those sad stories about the jerk that did her wrong. Begin to have life of your own. This will force her to stop viewing you as just another great friend.

Find a Date

This may sound weird, but this also works. Nothing can make a girl notice a guy faster than her seeing him with another girl. Sadly, this is true even for me. Sometimes, we don’t notice a good thing until someone else is walking around with it.

Flirt

Begin to flirt with your friend. No, don’t give her that cheesy line you give other girls. Remember, this is your best friend, and she has heard you use them on other girls. So, be subtle. Tell her how pretty she looks. Comment on her perfume. Make excuses to brush up against her. Touch her hair or her arm. Make more eye contact. Smile at her more often. Leave her little notes that say “Have a great day” or “Thinking about you”.  She should soon get the hint.

Confess

After you have begun flirting and a little time has passed, it is time to confess. Find a time when the two of you are alone and both comfortable. Then, tell her that you find her very attractive. See where this goes. Be prepared for her response. She may feel the same. She may need some time to think about it, or she may not want to be anything but friends. No matter what her response is, be willing to accept it.

Falling in love is natural. Although falling for your friend may seem strange, it is actually normal. So, use the tips above and move out of the friend zone and become lovers.

How to Recover Your Friendship after Being "Friends with Benefits" Fails

 

So, you and your BFF (Best Friend Forever) decide to cross the line and become “Friends with Benefits”. Although things were great at first, the arrangement didn’t work out. One or both of you begin to have romantic feelings for the other one. And, as a result, things ended badly. So, now what do you do? How you recover from losing your lover and your best friend?

Give It Time

First, start by giving it some time. You have just suffered a major loss. You were betrayed by someone that you love. So, it is normal to grieve that loss. Think about it. This was someone that you trusted with your most intimate feelings and secrets. The two of you shared your dreams and your fears. The two of you also decided to share your bodies. Now, you have been left with a giant hole in your heart. Only time can heal these wounds.

Find an Outlet

Next, find a way to release those hurt feelings. You can take up journaling or writing in a dairy. Writing about your feelings will help you to heal over time. You can also start exercising. This will help to increase dopamine and serotonin (feel good hormones) in your blood. You can also explore new hobbies. These things will help to keep your mind off of your lost friendship. And, please, please, don’t jump into bed with another friend or lover just to stop the pain. This never works and can cause more trouble than it is worth.

Admit Your Mistakes

The next step to recovering your lost friendship is to admit your mistakes. Whether the rift was caused by you or your friend, you should evaluate what happened. Ask yourself what went wrong with your arrangement. If you can’t seem to figure out what happened, you may want to consult another friend for answers.

Rebuild Trust

Trust is built over time. So, it will take time to rebuild the trust that the two of you lost when your “Friends with Benefits” relationship failed. You can start by talking to each other about what happened, listening to the other person’s perspective of things, and offering any needed apologies. You may not be ready to resume your close friendship right now. So, be honest with your friend about this. Start small. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Put the Past Behind

You and your friends must agree to put the past behind you. At this point, you should have discussed all of the important issues. Let go of the past. Forgive each other and agree to move past your failed sexual relationship and back into your platonic friendship.

It is always risky trying to be “Friends with Benefits”. There are so many things that can go wrong, and too often those things do go wrong. Thankfully, you don’t have to lose your best friend forever. The suggestions listed above will help you move past the pain.

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