Knights In Shining Armor

 

Knights in Shining Armor

I can remember reading all those fairytales as a child. I can remember reading about the princess or damsel in distress and the wonderful, knight in shining armor coming to rescue her. I believed those stories and wanted to be rescued. My most of my young life I believed that a man could solve my problems. I kept thinking, “If I can just get married…I would have someone to help me pay these bills.  I would have someone to come home to…someone to talk to about my problems…someone to help me raise my kids.”

Praise God, I have finally woke up. I no longer center my life around my wedding~which has not come~but around what I can do for myself. I look to my own resources. I realize that even if there was a man here, it doesn’t mean that I will have the financial help that I have been longing for or the person to listen to my problems or the person to be here with me raising my children. I am not saying I will never marry, but I am so glad that I realize marriage is not everything. There are no knights in shining armor. Men have problems too. Marriage is a compromise. It would not be all about me and my needs. So, to all those women who are still unconsciously looking for a man to rescue them, I would like to say “Wake up!” Face reality. That man that you are waiting on to save you, maybe waiting on you to save him.

Build yourself up. Don’t spend your life looking for Mr. Right. To be honest, there is no Mr. Right. There are men who are more compatible with us than others. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be happy with the woman that you are. Before you know it, the man who is right for you will show up (if that is what you want).

So, good-bye Cinderella. Good luck Snow White. Good night Sleeping Beauty. No more kissing frogs, Tiana. I am doing just fine.

What Does He Mean When He Says...You're a Nice Girl...You Deserve Better?

 

 

Okay. Some of us have heard these words from the man in our life, and we have wondered just what he meant. In fact, some of us have grab the phone and called our girlfriends for answers. Sadly, all she can tell us is that we are “nice” or that we are “good girls”. Why are we so confused? First, our boo said this without explaining. Second, he said this and didn’t officially break up with us. So, we are left hanging.

When we ask our man about it later, we are not given a straight answer. Sometimes, he may even play dumb and pretend that he doesn’t remember saying these words. So, ladies allow me to enlighten you.
As a woman who has been there and done that, I have just about heard it all. To be honest, I have just about said it all too. Guilty…Guilty…Guilty as charged. When your significant other tells you how nice you are, he means it. You are a nice person. Yeah! Great, right!? Maybe.

When this statement is followed by the acknowledgment that you can do better, you better look out. His hands have been in the cookie jar, and his conscious is acting up. He is tell you in so many words that he has done you wrong and that you are too good for his junk.

Why hasn’t he broken up with you? Simple. You are too good to lose. He doesn’t want to willingly let you go. But, he is not ready to stop doing the crap that he is doing. He still wants to play the field and run home to you. Sometimes, when he is caught red-handed and given an ultimatum, he may even chose to let you go.

How to I know? Because I have been in the same situation. To be honest, I have even told guys this same thing after I have been wading in the mud with my man on the side. I would come back from my rendezvous and realize that I had a good man at home.

So, why would I cheat? Why would your man cheat when he knows that you are a good woman? For the same reasons everybody does:

·         Having an affair can be exciting.

·         Things are a little rocky at home or in the relationship with you. A lover welcomes us with open arms and doesn’t want to know when we are going to pay the bills or stop hanging out with our friends.

·         Things in the bedroom may have gotten boring.

·         He or she makes us feel special. They tell us how beautiful we are. They act like we are the most important person in the world.

So, now you know. What should you do?  Try to have a heart to heart talk with your partner. But, be prepared for him to deny everything.